When will America accept it still has a discrimination problem?

Everyone reading this should've now seen the video released of Sandra Bland's aggressive encounter with a police officer stopping her for a 'routine traffic stop'.

If you haven't - go do it now before you read on.

Noticeably, if you read any news about this - there will be little or no reference to this being to do with race or prejudice.

And yet, any fucking idiot can see it is exactly this.

In the video, it's pretty clear that the officer is revelling in his own authority and pushing for the harshest of sentences. And Sandra Bland was right when she said in the voicemail to her friend - "How did switching lanes with no signal turn into all of this?"

 Because you were black, Sandra. And because that officer was a racist.

And so, another American has died needlessly because of the simple fact that the American police force are still simply embedded with layers of racism - and funnily enough still won't learn. It's cruel and painful every time a story like this hits the news, which is actually becoming a monthly occurrence and that's not including the ones that don't hit the headlines - which happen every day under our noses. But - the headlines are so far from the truth it hits with an even bigger punch.

This is racism. Not just a shooting, police violence or suicide. It's racism and so much more.

The same was present with the Charleston shooting earlier this year. This wasn't just a crazed man wandering into a church full of people and firing his weapon like a child with silly string. That was a racist man targeting black people and marking his targets. Was it reported in the latter way though? Of course it wasn't. Because America still can't admit on the global stage that it has not dealt with racism.

Take a look at Donald Trump, America's tall and proud would-be brother to Nigel Farage. He's standing for presidency in the 2016 elections and was fondly quoted last week saying "They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime. They're rapists, and some, I assume, are good people, but I speak to border guards, and they're telling us what we're getting." in regards to Mexicans crossing the border.

I'll admit, he's probably worse than Farage.

The worst part is that from the polls and ratings, he's actually a top candidate. Another example of an opinionated multi-millionaire business mogul bringing a non-sensical form of politics to a country in dire need of addressing it's problems with racism. Not a twat with a chip on his shoulder.

Sandra Bland's death has unusual written all over it. I won't go into the strange observations noted on social media about her mugshot - which although are interesting, it's difficult to interpret from a non-professional point of view.

No one will ever likely know what went on in that jail cell that led to her death. The fact is however that something didn't just add up. A massively aggressive police officer arrests forcefully a black lady for a wrong manoeuvre and then she, under questionable circumstances, dies in police custody in the following days? I'm no conspiracy theorist but I'm also not an idiot.

Not that a nation who host's a population of nearly 600 million people are likely to hear the voice of a teenager in a small town in the United Kingdom, but, America - you still have a problem with race and it needs fixing. Don't ignore it anymore.

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7 Arts of Being a Twat - Daily

So, I figured it was time to write about stuff that wasn't dull, depressing or political. Because, that stuff gets boring.

And, oddly, the one thing that sprang to mind when I was thinking of something to write about was how, as the humans that we are, we can really be absolute cocks sometimes. To such an extent that the social embarrassment is almost so blisteringly painful that being Piers Morgan's personal rent boy is actually a preferable option. Well, for some people anyway.

So I've compiled a list of the 7 main ways we regularly make a twat out of ourselves. The irony of this whole thing is that if I get any of these wrong - I am making a huge twat out of myself.

1. The Nervous Laugh

We've all done it. Definitely. I'll put it into context. A work colleague of yours passes you, mutters something you wouldn't understand if you spoke all fucking 6,500 languages. You lock up and think "oh fuck, I can't ask them what they said now, it's been 30 seconds that's far too long to ask that, fuck. fuck. fuck."

And there it goes. You do a nervous laugh hoping like Christ they cracked a joke. The next couple of minutes are spent engaging in turtle mode, nervously avoiding eye contact with that person just in case. Sometimes it ends with utter humility, and you force out a stifled, "sorry?"

2. The Shoe-Lace

The oh-so irritating undoing of the shoe-lace. It always happens of course, at the most convenient time. Oh no, your shoe lace does not become un-tied when you are in a quiet corridor with plenty of space to manoeuvre! Your shoe lace knows exactly when to become un-tied.

In the middle of the high street is a fine example. Where, to manoeuvre yourself in a position to tie your shoe-laces you may well be anally propositioning an 87 year old woman. Or by attempting to squat down you may hit a child in the face with your over-sized plastic carriers bags you are attempting to trawl through town.

The latter actually happened to me.... yeah, I know.

3. "Uh, I'm getting off the bus now?"

This is, for me, one of the scariest moments of the day. Not even for any reason. Your stop is coming up at increasing speed and you have a pensioner next you who may well be still attempting to stand up within the next 30 minutes. But, the waiting time isn't even half the problem when getting off the bus, oh no.

The main problem with the bus is letting the person sat next to you know that you would like to leave the bus. And soon. Do you make awkward eye contact? Is there an appropriate British sentence that is both polite and respectful, whilst letting them know you want to get the hell up? "I know, I'll gather all of my possessions together in my hands, that'll let them know I'm ready to go."

4. The Fake Text

So, you're walking down the street and for whatever reason, you've forgotten or not realised you're headed in the wrong direction. Even in quiet  streets it seems logical here that you are going to look like a twat for doing a full 180 and shuffling off into the opposite direction. So what do we do? Oh look, a text.

I'll just stand here quickly, maybe even pull a face of mild surprise, as I read this non-existent (or even sometimes a text you've already read) and then boom, I can spin round and walk off comfortably. Ha, those people watching me will never know now. I don't look strange, AT ALL.

5. The Street Dance

This one is actually a massive bug-bear of mine. It is perhaps the single most irritating moment of my day and if I'm in a town centre it will happen at the very minimum of once. You're immersed in your phone and as you briefly look up you see an impending crash. When you try to correct course, the person about to walk into you does exactly the same.

The next 5 seconds are spent doing some sort of lightning fast tap dance in different directions so poorly judged that sometimes you actually crash into one another mumbling "sorry" accompanied with a fake and slightly pissed off laugh.

6. The Wave

This one is a rarity, but it is definitely a killer. Men and Women have died of shame from this. As you walk down the road to, I don't know, the shops? Oh, that's Steve! I'll give him a big old wave and maybe even shout him!

After a few seconds of waving and at the very worst of times shouting the name of the person you think you've recognised - a wave of dread and bitter disappointment washes over you. That's not Steve. The worst part is that it's only after bewildering looks of complete confusion from the person you think you've seen are shot at you do you finally realise.

7. The Trip

We've all done it, don't deny it. Potentially in your own little world, maybe wearing shoes that are just too pointy or just too clumpy. There always has to be a stupid loose slab of pavement just waiting patiently, like a spider waiting for a fly to be caught on a web.

Aaaand there it goes. You've tripped up and managed to steady yourself from almost certain face-splattering. Someone's giggling from a nearby car window. You laugh a little to yourself, accepting that you have just made a tit of yourself, for the 7th time today. Fuck you, world.

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The 'Fat' and 'Skinny' Problem

This post will potentially be one of the most hypocritical things I have ever written, because, as anyone who knows me is fully aware - I am not politically correct. Unintentionally, by the way.

There's a big ol' problem skulking around social media and petition websites that is frankly just irritating the living hell out of me and I've decided to do the usual thing, yep, you guessed it - go onto to social media and join the skulking problem.

It's the fat and skinny debate. Where is the line in terms of 'political correctness?'

Recently there was a huge attack on this advertising campaign.



I agree with the anti-campaign. This sort of advertisement is wrong and potentially damaging and for the most part - irresponsible.

Here's what I don't agree with - the idolisation of the morbidly obese and massively under-weight under the guise of body confidence.

The problem I find with so many of the social media rants about this debate is that there is just no realistic element to it. To put it bluntly, some people are slightly bigger, some are slightly smaller, some are average. The people that are out of that spectrum, (being either very fat or very skinny) are just not healthy human beings. That is fact, not opinion, that is fact.

It worries me deeply that while we are reporting huge increases in obese children and how obesity is becoming such a widespread problem thanks to the holier-than-thou food industry, whilst simultaneously campaigning for body confidence (which is a good thing) and the idolisation of obese models (that's not a good thing). That's a conflicting dialogue that the Western community is having with itself, and it's more damaging than obesity itself.

I could be incredibly narrow-minded (it's possible, I know) but I can't understand why it is that an obese model or, equally, an incredibly skinny model could be considered a healthy human being. We can't promote healthy living and extreme weight conditions at the same damn time. That's like telling your teenage kids not to do drugs as you inject heroin into your veins. It can't work and it's doomed to fail and have deeper consequences.

What also isn't being properly tackled like it should be, is the food industry. The food industry is behaving now in the way that Tobacco companies did during the Tobacco boom. I can't walk down a road now without seeing the latest re-invention of food into processed fast food in various fonts and colours splashed across every billboard, poster and street corner. I personally don't give a flying fuck if KFC have managed to find a way of making the cheapest, most processed 'version' of a burrito I've ever seen. Capitalism is good, I love Capitalism; but the sort of aggressive capitalism that is funnelling it's way in through the food industry is destroying our western culture and causing us to bicker about whether being morbidly obese or very skinny is good or not? It isn't. It isn't healthy. It causes health problems - and big ones.

Whilst all of that is fact, here's another thing that's a huge problem. Shaming people because of their weight conditions. This is all being written by me, a slightly overweight guy, and I've witnessed and seen the effects that shaming because of weight has had. I am not proud to say either that I have both been the perpetrator and the victim on varied different times growing up, and the worst part is that because of the huge social pressure as a result of advertising campaigns such as the one previously mentioned - it is just unavoidable sometimes, especially in children.

Young girls and boys should NOT ever be made to feel they need to look like someone they aren't.

Adult women and men should NOT ever be made to feel they need to look like someone they aren't.

No one on this planet should be made to feel like they have achieved something by being the same weight as a half-naked man or woman on a billboard. But neither should an unhealthy lifestyle be promoted, surely? Men and women alike should have an environment surrounding them that engages them as individual people, with individual shapes and sizes and variations which is perfectly natural. I realise of course, please don't think I am avoiding the topic of health and mental conditions which lead to dramatic weight conditions, because that is a different debate. Some people can't help being very large, nor very small. Like I said, this is not to be shamed but supported.

Maybe I'm onto something here. MAYBE I'm a huge twat?

... We'll never know.

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Love Kingsman: The Secret Service With Me (And Everyone Else)

Colin Firth, Samuel L Jackson and Taron Egerton.

Kingsman: The Secret Service barrel rolls in as one of the most audacious films I've simply ever seen. I don't usually review a film but I felt given it's performance I was pretty much obligated to.

It feels more than anything like a big mash up of everything you could enjoy in a film. It's got fantastic acting, hilarious writing and a plot that is completely generic for a spy film (a quirky bad guy with intent of dominating the world through money or technology) whilst managing to actually be an entirely individual film in itself, which is a rarity. 

The first few scenes give you an edging sense of dread, not because they are necessarily of poor quality but more-so because they are somewhat ridiculous. To be blunt, someone gets chopped in half. If that ever becomes a recognisable sign of a good movie - let me know.

And yet, after chopping someone in half, you just can't help but to be absolutely enthralled by the plot, despite it being ridiculously far-fetched and what is quintessentially a comedy, it still manages to grab you by the throat and make you watch (I think it's Colin Firth).

Colin Firth plays Harry, a veteran 'Kingsman' (a dapper British spy) who's life was saved by a fellow spy in a previous mission, Harry seeks to keep his friend's legacy on by selecting said friend's son as his new protege for Kingsman training - Eggsy, played by newcomer Taron Egerton, whom is remarkably likeable for his debut role. The Kingsman do of course face their big bad bond-like enemy.

This is Samuel. L Jackson as you've never seen him before and I still can't work out whether it's good or bad, but I'm going with it. He's got a lisp. He's pretty camp. He "can't stand the sight of blood" and he's also the big bad guy behind it all. He plays the billionaire entrepreneur Richmond Valentine who seeks to kill off a decent slice of the world population by offering free sim-card like chips into everyone that allows him to control their behaviour. Of course, what's preventing him from his evil plot? The Kingsman of course! From sharing a McDonalds meal to slaughter in a church. The film is simply brilliantly outrageous.

Martin Vaughn has stripped a lot from the comics of the same name but re-worked it into a bond homage more than anything. But the comic book essence is still present - bulletproof umbrellas, shotgun pistols and hologram glasses.

There are a lot of gags - some of them fall short, mainly a few references to 'My Fair Lady' and a few that are just aimed at the 'common londoner', but ultimately the film manages to be riotous and pull all the right heartstrings without diving too much into the realms of clichè.

Grab a martini. Get suited up. Get to the cinema.

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Why You Shouldn't Like Government Employed PSHE Schemes

For those who are unaware, PSHE stands for Personal Social Health & Economic Education, it's a part of the UK's national curriculum and has been since 2000. It's also become the biggest load of cockwash since the Iraq War.

I'm a student, currently on the arse-end of my final year at sixth form and I won't lie, this is probably pretty biased. I despise everything from registration to the 20 or so different bells that blast away every day; nonetheless, PSHE needs to go, and fast. The other week, the sixth form were subjected to what I can only really describe as unabashed sexism and, well, pretty fucking terrible acting.

Sat in our seats; bracing ourselves for the next dull PSHE assembly, we were told by the assembly leader that the topic of this PSHE was Domestic Violence. Of course, this is fine, children and young adults should obviously be taught how to cope and deal with this sort of issue. Good job so far guys. The catch is however, in my far too many years at education, I've had this same PSHE assembly - 4 times. Naturally with different people running it and generally a slightly different tone each time, but, you guessed it, still some fucking terrifically bad acting.

Yet. this isn't really the problem, it's generally the same layout:

1. Quick talk and explanation about Domestic Violence

2. Any Questions? (Oh, we're sixth formers, we couldn't be bothered to lift up our arms even if we had a question.)

3. Okay here's a big long video

4. Summary of the video

5. Any Questions? (Obviously, still no one can be fucked.)

6. Okay that's it guys. Clap at us like seals.

That's all fairly straightforward. Not really any problems there - except for the video.

Every time I have had this topic of assembly, it has always been a painfully dominant male beating the living shit out of his, usually younger, girlfriend. Now, don't think me a fool, this scenario happens more than enough times across the country than I can count on my hands - but it is not the only damn scenario. Wives beat husbands. Teenagers beat their parents. Husbands beat wives. Instead of portraying properly the reality of what happens in Domestic Abuse scenario's, PSHE in the curriculum is unarguably adding more fuel to the sexism bonfire. Children growing up in Secondary School's will see the same video's, constant boyfriends and husbands domineering and beating their female partners. What image does that really present to young people? Who, let's face it, can be pretty naive.

PSHE is a mess. A mess that isn't working to actually educate the younger generation socially well enough in the slightest.

I wouldn't have been so angry and gone toward writing this if the person leading the assembly hadn't said the one thing that catalysed my anger - "if you know someone who's a victim of Domestic Violence, be there for her".

HER.

Being an assembly full of sixth formers, this generally doesn't matter so much and was significantly less damaging, as most were either wanting to go to sleep and/or daydreaming intricate ways of escaping the hall undetected. (I don't know, that could've just been me). But seriously - you, lovely lady though you are, are a complete and utter idiot. She actually solidified my hatred for her when she followed that with the brilliantly twattish "oh I shouldn't say she, that's probably not correct, but most of the time that is the case".

To be fair, figures show that Male instigated domestic violence rates are much higher, but to twist that into an educational portal just begins to warp the minds of young people into fear, paranoia and distrust - which, let's be honest, this country doesn't need anymore of. (Yeah, thanks UKIP.)

I must also be clear that I don't expect every one of these PSHE schemes to include every scenario of such topics into their videos and whatnot, but what I do expect is that there is more acknowledgement and explanation that these sorts of things, like domestic violence, affect more than just women. It is a crime that destroys people and it is not to be skimmed over as just being men. It's just insulting in every way.

In summary.

- Support ANYONE you know that is a victim of Domestic Violence
- Don't generalise a common, malevolent crime to a gender.
- Fuck you PSHE.

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Hello, I'm fickle.

It has been several months since my last post, for which I do apologise. (that is to say if you actually read the things I write and enjoy them)

Today, I came to something of a realisation that I was not expecting, especially given my previous writings and opinions on the subject, nonetheless, today I realised I am a Feminist.

In contrary to what I have written before, I have finally come to an opinion on Feminism and comfortable in the concept that I am a Feminist. It truly hit me when I watched a video that was a sort of 'social experiment' on domestic abuse, that is when I had a figurative 'epiphany'; Feminism is equality. It is not a warped and twisted anti-male movement in which women seek to overthrow a patriarchal society (yeah, some people honestly believe that). I had previously noted Feminism in the modern day as 'twisted' into a much more anti-male orientated movement in which net mums abuse misconstrued men on social media platforms, but after watching this video my perspective has been truly altered:

In that video, there is some truly heartwarming and sickening reactions - a man actually joined the woman in abusing the experimenter, of course, whether or not this video had it's own agenda is entirely questionable but it's message is clear and at least how I perceive it, pure. Feminism is doing wonders for the world as I type these very words, support goes out to the Eastern World where even in the modern age women still suffer horrifically from patriarchal societies that ultimately abuse and borderline torture women, but Feminism does not just stand for women, as most men view it. Feminism stands for ALL. It is a movement that aims to bring every class, sex and ethnicity together, at least that is what Feminism now means to me.

A few weeks back I was at the cinema watching a new release, 'The Riot Club', this perhaps was one of the most rage-inducing films I have ever had both the pleasure and displeasure of watching. I walked out of the cinema having experienced complete shock and awe, I was both entirely blow away by the high quality of the writing and directing and completely disgusted by it's message (a film I urge everyone to go and see).

But a scene that really niggled away inside my brain *spoilers* is a scene in which the group of would-be posh boys sit around their dining table for the night, drunk and completely coked up. Miles(the generally central character) has been foiled into a cruel prank in which his girlfriend is accidentally invited to this dining room of 'debauchery' - a term the film loves to spit out regularly. In this scene, the 10 of the boys all make crude, vile and toxic comments that make you clench your firsts in the -fairly uncomfortable- cinema seats. The girl, Lauren, is sexually assaulted against a door, abused and offered £27,000 in exchange for 'just a few blowjobs', it is possible one of the most vomit-worthy scenes to watch in a film to be released in the past decade.

And yet, it is also one of the most thought provoking, because although a work of fiction, we have seen in the past 10 years that this is real, not the movie, but the concept is real. People do this shit. Perhaps I'm having a late reality check that everyone else realised years ago, but the world we live in is pretty fucked, and we all have a responsibility to 'unfuck' it. The way I have chosen to channel it through? Feminism. Feminism is my portal in which I will try my absolute hardest to bring about some change through whatever means I have at my disposal, along with the millions of other Feminists at my side, for that I have pride. Everyone can make a difference with but a little hope.

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Why Iggy Azalea and her kin are a detriment to Modern Society and Feminism

For a global society that often claims to be fast approaching equality, there still seem to be idols in the mass media that do nothing but absolutely diminish any sense of self-respect for themselves, I'm talking of course, as the title refers to, about Iggy Azalea, the provocative Australian 'rapper'.

I'll hold my hands up in shame here and say that my anger for this was first arisen when I saw an article comparing dear ol' Iggy and The Beatles. Yes, you did actually read that right.

Now, in previous posts I have disputed the fact that in many cases, sex does sell, often far too well for it's own good. But surely, SURELY after watching a 3 hour long concert of Iggy Azalea doing nothing but squatting and rubbing herself against oiled up gentlemen(performing none of her actual music it seems), there is a line in which we say "Yeah, okay. This isn't music, or a concert. It's porn."

It is people like Iggy Azalea that make me think long and hard about swingin' toward Feminism, because frankly, she and the image she presents is disgusting. For the record, her debut record was aptly named "Pu$$y".

It's a sad moment for me when her latest work, "Fancy", is quickly becoming the fastest selling pop song in history, it either proves the Feminism has done absolutely nothing for the world in the past 50 years, the whole world has gone tits up, or simply, I'm alone in thinking this.

If you haven't heard it, it's the sort of music, that lyrically appeals to your standard 14 year old girl wanting to go 'crazy', it's probably going to become the next anthem for young girls getting shitfaced around town. "Keep on turnin' up, we don't give a fuck"

But speaking from a country of rapidly growing insecure teenage girls, mass binge drinking problems, racist politicians and unabashed everyday sexism: is this not the most self-destructive sort of culture to embrace with open arms?

Why, for example, is Regina Spektor, not a mainstream idol she so deserves to be? Or as some people might know her: "The woman who sung the pretty songs on 500 Days of Summer".

Regina Spektor in Concert

We have a spoilt little girl 'rapper' flouncing her bum about like a piece of butcher's meat for sale, and a humble pianist girl who started from very little and arose to an incredibly respectable woman, and musician. Why is the former more popular? Why are we still talking about Nigel Farage and his 'politics' whilst millions of literal CHILDREN are being exposed to what is fundamentally, porn?




The same applies to the likes of Nicki Minaj or Miley Cyrus, it is simply a chain of exploitation with a huddled group of fatcats at the top of the chain laughing at the people they have assimilated into their bank accounts. You have young women, like for example Iggy Azalea, who are exploited by their management to sell their product and music via their image, then all of the envious people below worship them like deities, it is nothing other than poisonous to the progress made in equality in the past few decades.

Iggy Azalea in Concert

The truly most sickening thing about it all, is that these brainwashed women actually seem to think that they have 'creative direction' in their work. It would seem the definition of 'creative direction' has definetly seen a drastic change over the years, must've been something I missed, perhaps Robin Thicke can give me a definition. If anyone has any idea how the embedded picture of Azalea in concert portrays even an inkling of creative direction, please, inform me. Perhaps the the hand gesture is some sort of, uh, metaphor?

More than anything, I can do nothing other than plead. Plead anyone reading this to reject this awful, toxic culture that is simply poisoning society further, furthering sexism and stereotype. It would most likely be wasted breath to also plead  these young women to step down from their pedestal of flesh, they won't read this and if they do they won't care.

"A hoe is a hoe... is a HOE. & yes, ass out in a mag/internet/public view PERIOD. Puts you in a bucket with all the other hoes. No exceptions" - Azalea

Who knows? Maybe I'm just too arrogant to embrace a hip-hop style of music that flaunts female flesh like gold dust and swaggers men about uncompromisingly describing their nasty shags with 'hoes' and 'bitches'. Yet, if that culture is taking Britain by storm, I am proud to stand aside and say that frankly, I'd rather listen to fucking Nickelback and watch Come Dine With Me.




On that bombshell, go and listen to some Regina Spektor.

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